Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Not by my Plan

I apologize in advance for the length of this...

Sometimes, many times, life and the happenings of life do not go according to "plan".  Our plan...as humans.  And really, we shouldn't expect it to unless we are told by the Man upstairs that it's his plan.  And well...my birth, it was my plan, I've got to admit.

From the beginning I was gung-ho on the path to a natural childbirth.  Natural...you know, the way God intended it to be.  And without meds.  And without interventions.  And then, at 37 weeks, I went in for a regular check up and my blood pressure was way more elevated than it had been in previous weeks.  Slowly creeping up and up but nothing dangerous prior to 37 weeks.  I got sent home with containers to do a 24-hr urine test.  It's exactly as it sounds, so I won't elaborate.  For week 36 and 37 my doctor was out of town.  I was scheduled to turn the test in on a Wednesday.  It wasn't likely that the results would come back on Friday since it was a half day for the office.  I had plans to stand up my induction date if it came to that.  I wanted to see MY doctor.  And she would be back on Monday for my 38 week appointment.  At that appointment (with my sister in tow) I learned that I was 2cm and 70% effaced.  So my Dr. helped my membranes along and I had cramps for the rest of the day.  Nothing significant and totally normal.  And then came Tuesday.  I went about my normal Tuesday routine - which equated to nothing since I was on bed rest.  And in the evening the "cramps" came back.  Gosh they were fun.  Throughout the evening I was texting my sister and breaking everything down and analyzing it.
At 2:30am, after a couple hours of sleep, I was in labor.  Assured by my sister and my doula, this was real.
And then, my plan broke down.
I did everything I could to stay in accordance with the plan.  My natural childbirth.  Med-free and trusting my body.  Only my plan didn't end up being Liam's plan.  In the end, yes, it's all about the baby arriving healthy and mom staying safe and sound.  And that happened, but that doesn't take the emotions out and it certainly didn't take the fear out of it.

At times, I feel like a hypocrite.  I did so much research, so so so much preparing.  And then, I deviated from the plan.  But I did everything I could and I know that.

So what happened?  Well, it was something intimate and private, but I can't post pictures without some sort of explanation.

Once labor really started, I labored at home as long as I could.  By myself for the first hour and a half. Then I called my sister, woke up my husband, and spoke with my doula.  Labor at home total time: 4.5 hours.
Positions, relaxing, tribal sounds...natural!!!!
My water broke: 6:50am.  To the hospital we went.
Labor intensified.  Arrived at hospital around 7:30am.  3-4cm/95% effaced.  Disappointment.
8:30am got checked: 8cm/100% effaced!!  Still natural and med-free!!!!  Success. (Insert cheerleaders)
9:30am next check: Same...plus a swollen cervix.  Not good.  I was bearing down/pushing without trying.  Things could end in a c-section if I wasn't able to relax and stop pushing.
Decision made: Epidural to avoid a c-section.
Labored for a couple hours - complete, ready to push.
Two and a half hours of pushing, seeing the baby's hair, and very little downward movement.
In comes the doctor.  She checks out pushing.  She checks out baby.
He is Occiput Posterior.  No luck in attempting to turn the baby.
In come the interventions...thus completely ending my "plan" for my baby's birth.
Liam was born via a very necessary c-section due to his position lodging him into my pelvis (cephalopelvic disproportion according to my doula) and not being able to get his forehead out of the way no matter what my OB tried.

Many, many details are missing here because as I said, the birth was intimate and private...

Next time.......it's on.

Liam Mathew arrived safe and sound on July 13, 2011 @ 4:26pm.  He weighed 8lb 1oz and was 20.5 inches long.
And he is perfect.  I'd change his birth, but I'm not God.  And he got here the way he needed to.

3 days before delivery

My due date - July 24, 2011 with my 11 day old son

Gotta Include Labor

Just Born

Proud Papa

Brand New

Sun Bath

Some Nephew Love

Out of State @ 11 Days Old


  1. Aubrey...what great pictures! We are all so proud of you, for being so brave through all the different phases! My favorite picture is the one of you and Liam right after he was born! PERFECT! Enjoy this special time! I know everyone says this, but, they really do grow up so fast!

  2. You are so right that it is God's plan that always wins, despite what we have planned! What an amazing birth story. BTW - I love the picture of you an Liam on your due date, so cute!!!

  3. I know it sounds so trite but I am happy Liam was born the way he needed to come. I know you left out a lot of details but with Elena's birth fresh on my mind I am sure I can fill in a general blanks. Birth is emotionally not easy. You are so strong to do what you did. Way to go momma! Liam is so beautiful. I adore his "brand new" picture.

  4. Ladies...thank you. I'm still processing through this, so I appreciate the encouragement and support more than you all know.