Monday, January 30, 2012

It Was Written

This day, this hour, this moment - it was written, long ago.  Thank God he wrote it.

For me, to put to words, it began when my best friend started trying to conceive.  It is hard being so far away - I'm not sure what we would have done without camera phones.

And then, a complete surprise.
A reminder that we can't plan anything since we are not in control.
A baby - due in March.  The one month they weren't even trying.  March Madness.  (My best friend's husband is the Head Coach of a High School Basketball team.  March, oh boy.)

I had so badly wanted to surprise my bestie Becca and show up at her baby shower without her knowing.  As much as I wanted it to work, it just wouldn't.  I couldn't figure out a way to fly across the country and show up with my 6 month old baby after traveling all day.  No way.   So my mom and I announced our trip to Atlanta for her baby shower.  So blessed we are that we could go and visit.  I'm so thankful to experience a part of her pregnancy with her.

This trip has made Liam quite the traveler.  First Massachusetts, then Florida, and now Atlanta.  He does such a great job.  He sleeps, he eats, he coos, he jumps on his mama, and he smiles for the other passengers (sure, he whines in there too, but it's not noteworthy).

This post, it's about our night after traveling home, although, you wouldn't know it.
In short, we got to the airport super early for a 9am flight.  Good thing.
Our 9am flight was cancelled.  The very nice attendant got us on the 8am flight - departure: 1 hour.
Get through security, get a smoothie, board the plane, wonder if my little boy is going to meltdown from his early-morning rising, get the baby to sleep, mama has to go potty, baby wakes up....and normal airplane stuff.

And then...Liam starts the fussing that is really no big deal to everyone else but is an extreme embarrassment to the parent.  So, I did what I know how to do - I started singing songs to him and captured his attention.

I thought "You Are My Sunshine" was Liam's favorite; I was wrong.
"Itsy Bitsy Spider" has a new spot in our lives.  Liam was half hugging his lovey and half doing the hand-motions and laughing up a storm.  He made my heart melt.  Or so I thought.

Fast Forward to bath-time.
Liam is a creature of habit.
Mommy gets him up.  Mommy spends the daytime with him.  Mommy feeds him food.
Daddy gives him his paci at night.  Daddy gives him a bath.
But daddy wasn't in Atlanta, Oma was.

Poor Liam was a little out of sorts at bath-time, crying in the tub, crying after his bath, crying in mommy's arms.  So I did what I know how to do.  I wrapped him up, stuck in his paci, got his lovey, started rocking him, and started singing.

You Are My Sunshine.  Twinkle, Twinkle.  Itsy Bitsy Spider.
Magic.
Not only did he stop crying, but I was shocked.  He was laughing.  I sang and sang, over and over.

The Itsy Bitsy Spider, went up the water spout.  Down came the rain and washed the spider out.  Out came the sun and dried up all the rain, and the Itsy Bitsy Spider went up the spout again.  The Itsy Bitsy Spider, went up the water spout.  Down came the rain and washed the spider out.  Out came the sun and dried up all the rain, and the Itsy Bitsy Spider went up the spout again.  The Itsy Bitsy Spider, went up the water spout.  Down came the rain and washed the spider out.  Out came the sun and dried up all the rain, and the Itsy Bitsy Spider went up the spout again.

It was about the third time that I realized he was laughing.  I thought he was at least, but I wasn't sure.  So I switched songs.
Twinkle, Twinkle - no laughs.
You Are My Sunshine - no laughs.

The Itsy Bitsy Spider? - laughs!!  So I kept singing.  I called out to Matt "I think he's laughing!!"
His paci in his mouth, his eyes lighting up, his cheeks tightening with chuckles - those good belly laugh chuckles...
And I soon had tears in my eyes.

No matter what I went through in those early severely sleep-deprived days and nights, filled with crying, screaming, reflux pain, supply issues - this boy has ahold of my heart.
And he's got a supernatural grip.  
There were tears in my eyes.  My voice was cracking.
I kept singing, the tears kept coming.

I am overflowing with love for my little boy.
So in love.
So in awe.

God wrote this moment and he wrote it just for me.
And I can't even thank him enough.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Life.

Sunday night as I was rocking the baby to sleep, my phone rang.  My brother's name flashed across the screen.  I handed the phone to Matt and motioned for him to answer the phone.  It isn't that abnormal for my brother to call, so I didn't think much of it.  Until I had laid Liam down, came back out, and Matt was pacing the house and went out onto the front porch at one point.

My brother had been in an accident.
My brother and the other driver were unharmed.
My brother was driving Matt's car - hence the phone call to us instead of to our parents.

Between a lot of phone calls and texts, I quickly left the house and headed towards my brother.  It was a whirlwind.  The back end of the car was smashed up.  Matt's SUV was rear ended by a Dodge 2500 with a giant grill guard on it.  And Matt's car, of course, was the damaged one.  Needless to say, it stinks.

Initially, I was really mad.  It was a good thing I had a 40 minute drive ahead of me because I needed to calm down.

No one was hurt.
No one was hurt.
No one was hurt.

The car is really just a car and while it may cost money, it's just money.  Matt and I are lucky that with his new job, he was provided with a company truck that allows him to drive to and from work.  So blessed.  So while we are down a personal vehicle, we are both still able to work.  Phew!!

I brought my brother to my parents house and headed home.  I cried.  I came home after being at the scene for around an hour and went into my baby boy's room.  I picked him up.  I just stood there and snuggled him into my neck.  I breathed in his sweet baby smell and just loved on him - his sound asleep body.  I wished I had been able to stand there with him all night.

I'm blessed by Liam every day.  By the rest of my family.  And by my friends.
I cannot thank God enough that no one was hurt.
The rest is just details.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

I'm FREE!

#55 Pay of my car early.

I just made a payment for the remaining balance.  Success!!
It was set to be paid off in October, so it's done.

Paid off early.

Friday, January 6, 2012

Incredible

It's just amazing to me how time flies.  Even 4 short, very short, months ago I felt like Liam being 6 months old was never going to get here.

I was in a very sleep deprived state.  I had a little dude that always needed me.
I was so very very far out of my element.

And here we are coming up quickly on 6 months.




Slow down time!! Slow down!!