My Rockin Doula!

Kathleen, she's amazing.  She was my sister's doula when she was pregnant with Reid, her third.  From the point that my sister was recovering after giving birth, she began saying that Kathleen was going to be her gift to me.  I'll admit, I thought she was crazy at first.  I'd be "epiduraling" it up.

Then I got pregnant.
Then I started researching in the few days before I told my sister.
Then Kathleen became my doula.

We met with her monthly.  She calmed my irrational fears (what was I going to wear during labor?!? and whether or not to donate the cord blood) and covered everything in full detail with us.  It was like we were her only client.  She spent hours with us if that was what we needed.  And we never seemed like a hassle.  During labor, even though she was 25 weeks pregnant, she was a solid rock.  She had to be tired, exhausted even, and hungry and just getting worn down.  She counter pressured my back when I was in positions that were so uncomfortable.  And then she showed Matt how to duplicate what she was doing.  Even during pushing, which lasted 3-4 hours, she was there at my leg with pressure helping me along (with my sister, my mom, and my hubs as well).  She'd sit down in between, but stayed right next to me.
She walked me through options and outcomes when something new was thrown our way.  She was patient with me.  She told me I could when I said I can't.  Bot not only was she telling me, she was making me believe.  Her words were what I needed.

Kathleen is a rock star.  She not only coached me (and my sister in her labor) but she has coached our family.  I think I can speak for us all when I say she is such a blessing and has really guided us all.  We love her for what she has provided us.

Labor...

Counter pressure

Towel-pulling Pushing

Peppermint on his finger!  I was so nauseous. 

And of course, from the last post because it is one of my favorites...a contraction on the floor with my sister and Kathleen

i'm the crazy person who cannot wait to be pregnant again (Don't worry...I'm waiting).  I can't wait to experience pregnancy again and do all I can to have a successful VBAC with my family and Kathleen by my side.

Not by my Plan

I apologize in advance for the length of this...

Sometimes, many times, life and the happenings of life do not go according to "plan".  Our plan...as humans.  And really, we shouldn't expect it to unless we are told by the Man upstairs that it's his plan.  And well...my birth, it was my plan, I've got to admit.

From the beginning I was gung-ho on the path to a natural childbirth.  Natural...you know, the way God intended it to be.  And without meds.  And without interventions.  And then, at 37 weeks, I went in for a regular check up and my blood pressure was way more elevated than it had been in previous weeks.  Slowly creeping up and up but nothing dangerous prior to 37 weeks.  I got sent home with containers to do a 24-hr urine test.  It's exactly as it sounds, so I won't elaborate.  For week 36 and 37 my doctor was out of town.  I was scheduled to turn the test in on a Wednesday.  It wasn't likely that the results would come back on Friday since it was a half day for the office.  I had plans to stand up my induction date if it came to that.  I wanted to see MY doctor.  And she would be back on Monday for my 38 week appointment.  At that appointment (with my sister in tow) I learned that I was 2cm and 70% effaced.  So my Dr. helped my membranes along and I had cramps for the rest of the day.  Nothing significant and totally normal.  And then came Tuesday.  I went about my normal Tuesday routine - which equated to nothing since I was on bed rest.  And in the evening the "cramps" came back.  Gosh they were fun.  Throughout the evening I was texting my sister and breaking everything down and analyzing it.
At 2:30am, after a couple hours of sleep, I was in labor.  Assured by my sister and my doula, this was real.
And then, my plan broke down.
I did everything I could to stay in accordance with the plan.  My natural childbirth.  Med-free and trusting my body.  Only my plan didn't end up being Liam's plan.  In the end, yes, it's all about the baby arriving healthy and mom staying safe and sound.  And that happened, but that doesn't take the emotions out and it certainly didn't take the fear out of it.

At times, I feel like a hypocrite.  I did so much research, so so so much preparing.  And then, I deviated from the plan.  But I did everything I could and I know that.

___________

So what happened?  Well, it was something intimate and private, but I can't post pictures without some sort of explanation.

Once labor really started, I labored at home as long as I could.  By myself for the first hour and a half. Then I called my sister, woke up my husband, and spoke with my doula.  Labor at home total time: 4.5 hours.
Positions, relaxing, tribal sounds...natural!!!!
My water broke: 6:50am.  To the hospital we went.
Labor intensified.  Arrived at hospital around 7:30am.  3-4cm/95% effaced.  Disappointment.
8:30am got checked: 8cm/100% effaced!!  Still natural and med-free!!!!  Success. (Insert cheerleaders)
9:30am next check: Same...plus a swollen cervix.  Not good.  I was bearing down/pushing without trying.  Things could end in a c-section if I wasn't able to relax and stop pushing.
Decision made: Epidural to avoid a c-section.
Labored for a couple hours - complete, ready to push.
Two and a half hours of pushing, seeing the baby's hair, and very little downward movement.
In comes the doctor.  She checks out pushing.  She checks out baby.
He is Occiput Posterior.  No luck in attempting to turn the baby.
In come the interventions...thus completely ending my "plan" for my baby's birth.
Liam was born via a very necessary c-section due to his position lodging him into my pelvis (cephalopelvic disproportion according to my doula) and not being able to get his forehead out of the way no matter what my OB tried.

Many, many details are missing here because as I said, the birth was intimate and private...

Next time.......it's on.

Liam Mathew arrived safe and sound on July 13, 2011 @ 4:26pm.  He weighed 8lb 1oz and was 20.5 inches long.
And he is perfect.  I'd change his birth, but I'm not God.  And he got here the way he needed to.

____________

3 days before delivery

My due date - July 24, 2011 with my 11 day old son

Gotta Include Labor

Just Born

Proud Papa

Brand New

Sun Bath

Some Nephew Love

Out of State @ 11 Days Old

37 Weeks

If someone would have stopped and asked me yesterday what I am most looking forward to, I'd have told them breastfeeding.  As I've said before, right now, this baby is all mine cuz he is inside of me.  When he is out, that bonding experience is going to be all mine.  For a short while (at least while I'm not working), it'll be the thing that only I can do.  So, breastfeeding, of course amongst other things, is at the top of my list this weekend.

37 Weeks

By the way, Happy 4th of July!!!

Showered with Love

I've started this blog post a few times, but I just don't have the words.  I don't know what to say about my shower, to explain how it wasn't just a showering of gifts but of love and friendship.

The details were amazing.  My sister had so many little details that so many people contributed to helping with.  Between the cake, the food, the decorations, the small touches, the gifts...everything was incredible.  My sister, Courtney, Laura, and our moms did such a great job.  And everyone else that helped as well....I don't have the right words to even show my appreciation.  

#1.  The pictures get a little bigger if you click them
#2.  Sorry for the overload.

Details first. 

Photo Booth and Results Next.

I hope everyone had a great time.  I sure did and wish I could say "Thank You" to everyone in a way that expresses just how much I appreciate the support and love during this special time.  

Feeling Gorgeous

It's really wonderful what a photographer can do to make a pregnant woman feel spectacular.  Gorgeous.  Beautiful.  And the surprise that comes to see yourself on the other end of the lens.  

I was 31.5 weeks pregnant when we went to Jurgen Hall in Cypress for a maternity shoot with Candace, from Eye Candy by Candace.  My sister has been using her for a couple of years for her Christmas and various other photo shoots.  She did a fantastic job.  I am beyond happy with the results.  They are great photos.  And I lucked out.  My sister framed some of my favorites as decorations for the baby shower.  

I love the photos.  The poses are great, the colors are great...and even though it was 98 degrees, you'd never have known it.  Thanks so much Candace!! 

So...I'm selfish. Bummer.

Lately, as I drive around, normally doing something for work, baby boy will start kicking me.  And I think to myself that he's all mine.  Not in the sense that he was made by just me, we thank God for him existing.  But in the sense that he's in MY belly.  Of course, Matt and I are his parents, both of us, but again, he's in MY belly.

As I drive I notice that my hand instinctually goes to my belly.  I don't rub my belly, my hand just sits there.  When I look down I think about how my belly protrudes more and more each week.  I've thought to myself "That's mine. That's me. That's my belly. And that's my baby in there. OMG. A baby. What am I going to do with a baby?" I'm very much loving (selfishly, again, yes, I recognize this) that this baby is just mine right now. No one else gets to lay with him on the couch and be the only one that 'knows' what's going on with him. No one else gets to guess which end is up at the moment.  No one else gets to feel his kicks from the inside, his wiggles, his rolls or his hiccups.  When he comes out, everyone is going to be able to see...and I'm not sure I'm ready to share. 

I'm thinking and wondering about how I am explaining this.  Or if I should even post this.  I did warn you all with my title...I'm selfish.  It shouldn't offend anyone.  It's not like I'm not going to share.  Duh. It's a baby.  Everyone is going to want to hold him and kiss him and talk baby talk to him and touch his toes and hope that he doesn't start fussing allowing them to keep holding him.

Don't worry everyone, I will let you do all those things you want to do to him.  I will not selfishly keep him all to myself like I have him now.  I will share.  There are doting grandparents waiting for his arrival as anxiously (or as close as possible) as we are.

I've got to say though, having him all to myself for this time is such a blessing.  It's such a sweet thing to know that he's getting everything he needs, all from me.  I can't wait for this little boy!

Speaking of not being able to wait, we just passed 28 weeks.  

We've got a head of cabbage. 

 And to see how we got here, a progression.